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7 Signs Someone You Know Has a Sex Addiction

The emergence of sex addiction into mainstream consciousness might have some people worried about their spouse, partner, family member or close friend. With the admission to having a sex addiction by several well-known celebrities, most often after being caught cheating on their spouse, the line between an addict and a cheating spouse begins to blur. You may find yourself wondering if there are signs you should be watching for. It is important to understand that there is a difference between a person who is unfaithful and untrustworthy, and a person who is genuinely dealing with a sex addiction.

Perhaps it is not your partner you are concerned about, but rather a family member or friend or a friend’s spouse. Perhaps you’ve gotten the vague sense that something is not quite right and you don’t know enough to approach him/her with your concerns; again, are there signs that you should be watching for.

If any of the above scenarios explains the situation you find yourself in, read on. There are signs that you can watch for, tell-tale behaviors that can act as a red flag to indicate that a sex addiction is likely involved.

1. Preoccupation with Sex

A person with a sex addiction will have an unusual preoccupation with sex and their own, personal sexual fantasies. While it is healthy and normal to think about sex and maintain a healthy libido, a person who is struggling with addiction will be preoccupied with sex to the exclusion of anything else. Eventually, sexual thoughts and activities will be the most important part of their lives.

If the man or woman in your life is addicted to sex, how will you be able to notice this preoccupation? The individual may have pornographic magazines and movies lying around. You may notice during conversations that they continually seem to center conversation on sexual activity or other sexual topics. He or she may be drawn to or point out adult bookstores and cinemas, strip clubs and massage parlors. If this person is your partner, you may notice an extreme in sexual appetite – either continually asking to have sex or never wanting to have sex at all.

2. Changes in Mood

Individuals who are struggling with a sex addiction may suddenly begin to act distant and withdrawn as they become more preoccupied with their sexual activity. As the addiction progresses, the addict will be dealing with shame, guilt and the fear of being found out, leading to mental and physical withdrawal from those around them. Their work, social circles, families and normal activities will begin to suffer from lack of attention.

The addiction cycle generally begins with addicts acting withdrawn as they are preoccupied with their fantasies. This is followed by the excitement of the sexual ritual or chase, the high of acting out (acting on their fantasy), and finally the shame and guilt after the fact. To family and friends, this sex addiction cycle will look like depression and mood swings. Many times sex addicts will be tired, sick and cranky due to lack of sleep and the after effects of their time spent in their sexual behaviors.

3. Reactionary Responses

Individuals dealing with sex addiction go to great lengths to avoid being found out, and develop elaborate defenses. Should you ask a question about a story you’ve been told, or comes too close to the truth, an addict could become highly irritated and create an elaborate story, lie or just plain denial. A simple question or seemingly insignificant statement or event could bring an out-of-proportion reaction of anger from an addict.

People with a sex addiction are not open to constructive criticism, and may feel challenged or threatened by increased supervision.

4. Sexual Humor

Those with a sex addiction may use a form of sexual humor much of the time, often teasing or telling sexual jokes. People dealing with this addiction tend to sexualize most situations and find humor in them. If someone in your life is a sex addict, you may notice that he or she often points out any statements with a double entendre, a phrase that could have two meanings, one of which is sexual.

Sexual jokes can also be used to find new sexual partners. Individuals with sex addiction may watch the reaction of a person upon hearing their sexual joke and, if the reaction is favorable, they may take the level of sexual engagement up another step.

5. Inappropriate Sexual Behavior

Those with a sex addiction are not difficult to spot if you know what to look for. They are always telling sexual jokes, or touching people in a way that doesn’t feel right. They are overly affectionate and are always looking, especially at attractive people.

Sex addiction is progressive behavior that escalates the longer the disease goes on without help. As time goes by, those dealing with this addiction can be very direct, coming up to you to talk about sex or invite you home with them. As the disease progresses, the inappropriate behavior will get worse, as will the consequences of that behavior.

If your spouse is an addict, he or she will likely become increasingly frustrated with the sexual activity in your marriage/relationship. This could lead to an avoidance of sex in an attempt to tamper the frustration, or because sexual needs are being met outside of the marriage. A person with a sex addiction may make more and more demands for sex and for certain types of activity or might be suddenly not interested in sex at all.

6. Life Difficulty

As sex addiction progresses, addicts spend more and more time thinking about and trying to obtain sex. This leaves less time available for all other areas of life, including work, family, friends, sleep and other obligations. If you begin to notice that these activities are being ignored, you can be certain that the energy normally spent in these areas is being used somewhere else.

As time goes on, there may be the loss of jobs and income. Social relationships and once-important friendships may be jeopardized. If illegal behavior is involved in the individual’s sex addiction, there may be arrests and time spent in jail.

7. Direct Evidence

Eventually, as the disease progresses, you will likely be faced with some kind of direct evidence of the problem. This could come in the form of credit card bills with company names you don’t recognize, phone bills with 900 numbers, pornographic materials, evidence of infidelity, unexplained time away from home or work, late nights working, extended time on a computer with the door closed or locked and so on.

If, after reading the above, you believe that there is a person in your life who is struggling with sex addiction, there are things that can be done to help. Confronting the individual, offering help, and taking steps to not enable negative behaviors are all ways to handle sex addiction in a friend or loved one.

 

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Can a Sex Instructional Video Help Improve Your Love Life?

Whether you’re young or old, rich or poor, sex is probably one of the most talked about, if not controversial, topics in the whole world. Everyone needs sex, not just for procreation, but for pleasure and strengthening of a relationship as well. You can’t talk about romantic love without including sex in the equation so if you’re currently in a relationship and you want to make your love story last, you should definitely start working on your sex life. But how do you start? Though you’ll find a lot of great ideas online on how you can spice up your love life, there is really only one way that can help you take your sex life up a notch. Want to know what a sex instructional video can do for your relationship? Then don’t hesitate to read on.

Assuming that you and your lover both have open minds towards this subject, a sex instructional video can do wonders for your relationship. But do bear in mind that this option isn’t for everyone. If you’ve just started dating, make sure to have an open discussion with your partner on how he or she feels about using this sort of videos. This way, you’ll be able to avoid causing offense or any awkward moments that may lead to future misunderstandings in the relationship.

Helps You Become A Better Lover

Sure a sex instructional video may not be a necessity in making a relationship work, but it can help you make it stronger. A sex instructional video can help you become a better lover as it can provide you with tips and techniques that will make every sexual encounter worthy to be remembered. From oral techniques to different sex positions, you’ll be able to reinvent yourself as the ultimate lover once you’re done watching the video.

Allows You To Open Your Line Of Communication

Another benefit that you can get from incorporating the sex instructional video into your bedroom routine is that you’ll get a much more open communication line between you and your partner. Just by watching the video together, you’ll feel much more comfortable expressing what you want sexually and your partner will be more open to tell you what he or she would like to try out. When used properly, a sex instructional video will be able to help you form a stronger bond emotionally and physically.

If you’re interested in purchasing sex instructional videos, there are a number of ways that you can easily get your hands on them. First off, check out what your local adult bookstores or sex shops have on offer. Although these shops usually have an extensive line up of different adult videos that you can choose from, make sure that you choose a sex instructional video and not just a porn flick. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of visiting these shops or you just don’t have the time, start your search online instead. The great thing about purchasing online is that you not only have access to a wide array of different titles, but you’ll also get to shop anonymously.

The 6 Major Consequences of Sex Addiction

Sex addiction is a devastating disorder that comes with many severe consequences. According to the website Psych Central, “Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts.”

The progressive nature of the disorder, combined with the compulsion to commit increasingly risky sexual behaviors can lead to damaging results. Some of the most common behaviors committed by sex addicts include masturbation, pornography viewing, sexual activities with multiple partners, partner sexualization or objectification, engaging in simultaneous or repeated affairs, engaging in cyber or phone sex, risky sexual activity, attending strip clubs, soliciting prostitutes and visiting adult bookstores. The consequences of these behaviors run the gamut from social to spiritual.

1. Social Consequences
The social consequences of sex addiction can be severely damaging for individuals. Addicts unwillingly become drawn into their sexual behaviors and over time become distant to loved ones. They feed on the solitude of the addiction and find more ways to isolate themselves so they can “act out” in their obsessive and compulsive unwanted sexual behaviors. Broken spousal or partner relationships, strained family relationships and loss of friendship are all common social consequences of this addiction.

2. Emotional Consequences
Emotionally, sex addicts face an uphill struggle. As they battle their addiction, they experience a broad spectrum of emotions including anxiety and extreme stress, shame, guilt, boredom, and despair. The stress and anxiety stem from the fear of being caught. As the addiction progresses, addicts engage in behaviors that fall outside of their moral boundaries, which ultimately lead to feelings of guilt and shame. Boredom may be difficult to understand, but with addicts there is a constant need to increase the intensity of their behaviors. If they are unable to intensify their activities, then they will naturally become bored and possibly frustrated. Ultimately, despair overcomes sex addicts because they are unable to stop their behaviors in spite of their desire to recover.

3. Health Consequences
Sexual addiction can also come with serious health risks and consequences. Unprotected sex with multiple partners puts addicts at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. Additionally, these individuals tend to put themselves in dangerous situations to achieve their sexual gratification. This is particularly common as the addiction progresses and the need to intensify the sexual behaviors increases.

4. Legal Consequences
The compulsion to commit sexual acts may bring about legal consequences when the sex addict feels compelled to engage in unlawful activities. These activities include sexual harassment, making obscene phone calls, exhibitionism, voyeurism, prostitution, rape, incest, child pornography and child molestation. As the disease progresses and the addict regresses he or she takes more risks to intensify the payoff of their sexually addictive behaviors. This for some, leads to severe legal consequences.

5. Financial Consequences
Sex is a huge industry in the world today. Therefore, it is easy to understand how this addiction can lead to serious financial consequences. Engaging in sexual activities – visiting strip clubs, soliciting prostitutes, purchasing pornographic paraphernalia, phone sex, live sex shows, web cams, porn membership sites, sex toys and adult movies and so many other available sexually addictive media- can become a financial burden for someone with a addiction. Combine the extra expenses with poor job performance at work and one finds the potential for financial trouble. Sex addicts can face a downgrade in pay, or worse yet, lose their jobs as a result of poor performance and dereliction of duties.

6. Spiritual Consequences
Moreover, sex addicts face spiritual consequences as a result of their addiction. Many people who struggle with this issue experience loneliness, resentment, self-pity and self-blame. Together, these emotions are spiritually damaging. The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health states that “these consequences are progressive and predictable. The addict tends to minimize the consequences and blame others for them. When the blaming stops, recovery begins. The consequences can become the instruments for change if they can be truly recognized and accepted instead of denied.”

Therefore recognizing the consequences of sex addiction is an important part of the recovery process. However, the addict himself and those around him need to be willing to accept the consequences and acknowledge the need to change. The sex addict needs to accept responsibility in order for true change to begin.

Adult Book Stores

Adult book stores cater to some of the needs of adults, meaning they pamper the basic instincts of sex and – in some cases – sleaze. The reality is that adult books comprise a niche market of great fascination not only to young men and women, but also to adolescents and old persons alike.

Ask an adult book store owner and he will tell you that he sells books on healthy sex for normal persons and not just for “sexual delinquents” or “dirty old men”. Besides books on sex, these adult bookstores also sell gifts, novelties, toys, videos, DVDs, used and new magazines and other sex related material for fun and entertainment. These bookstores also cater to the needs of gays, lesbians and homosexuals, and so on. Most of these adult bookstores remain open 24 hours, while some take two hours’ break for the necessary “clean-ups”. To further whet the appetite of their customers some of these stores also have small “theaters” to preview the books that the customer may intend to buy.

Entry to adult bookstores is often restricted to persons who are at least 19 years old. In some states it is obligatory to show valid ID as proof of age before entering these adult book stores.

While providing legitimate fun and entertainment should not be discouraged, some adult bookstores degenerate into promoting illegal forms of sex, which just scares the healthy fun seekers. These places are sometimes creepy and utterly revolting and tend to become dens of obscenity, prostitution and crime. Unfortunately, it is difficult to draw a line between healthy sexual entertainment and “perverted” sex. Yet, going by the number of people who visit these stores, it can only be concluded that their popularity is on the rise.